Saturday, December 8, 2012

50 Shades of Grey - E. L. James

One Sentence Summary: 
Naive young woman enters into BDSM sexual relationship with older man.


Review:
This is one of the most poorly written books I have read this year, we get it - his name is grey and his eyes are grey.  Also I hate Anastasia and would like to say f*ck off to her inner goddess. I will not finish this trilogy

2/10
5/10
  



Notable (for how god-awful the writing is) Quotes:


“My inner goddess is jumping up and down, clapping her hands like a five year old.” 

“Does this mean you’re going to make love to me tonight, Christian?” Holy shit. Did I just say that? His mouth drops open slightly, but he recovers quickly. “No, Anastasia it doesn’t. Firstly, I don’t make love. I fuck… hard. Secondly, there’s a lot more paperwork to do, and thirdly, you don’t yet know what you’re in for. You could still run for the hills. Come, I want to show you my playroom.”

“So you've just slept with him, given him your virginity, a man who doesn't love you. In fact, he has odd ideas about you, wants to make you some sort of kinky sex slave.”

“How does he do this to me? He's just touching a small area of my body and the hormones are flying.”

“What is it with all the immaculate blondes? It's like Stepford here.”

"“Darling, you know what they say. You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince." I give her a lopsided, bittersweet smile. "I think I've kissed a prince, Mom. I hope he doesn't turn into a frog.”"

“That scares me... you scare me... I am completly caught up in your spell, considering a lifestyle with you that I didn't even know existed until last week, and then you write something like that and I want to run screaming into the hills. I won't of course, because I'd miss you. Really miss you. I want us to work, but I am terrified of the dept of feeling I have for you and the dark path you're leading me down. What you are offering is erotic and sexy, and I'm curious, but I'm also scared you'll hurt me- physically and emotionally. After threee months you could say good-bye, and where will that leave me if you do?”

“Inside, I'm doing graceful cartwheels in my head, knowing full well that's the only place I can do graceful cartwheels.”


If you enjoyed this (but want way better writing) you should read:

The Sleeping Beauty Trilogy - Anne Rice (as A. N. Roque
laure)

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